The truth behind a bold move

Making an international move certainly puts you in ‘adventure’ mode.  Every day can bring a new surprise, a little chuckle for things you don’t understand yet thankfully can find amusing rather than frustrating, and the opportunity to challenge yourself and grow.

If you don’t know anyone in your new city, like we didn’t, you need to carve out a new social support network.  Not to mention carve out a new shopping routine,way of paying bills, finding babysitters, friends, life in a new church, and date night locations.

Sure you can take your time and tell yourself there is no hurry, but after a while it can be tiring to keep on carving.

You know when you take a vacation, and at the end of it, sometimes you’re ready to go home?

The other day, I was tired of redefining myself.  Tired of building my foundation under me. Tired of striving to learn a new language and feeling guilty for succumbing to the easiness of just speaking English. I wanted to go home from this vacation.

But I am home. This is it.

So I get a better night’s sleep, take care of a few lingering yet important tasks, plan a date night, and take a deep breath.

Sometimes you don’t want to grow. Sometimes you just want the familiar, the tried and true. You don’t want to work. You want to get beyond the small talk with new friends. You want new best friends. You want to speak your second language with ease, but without the work.

But you do something fun, like go to the pool, the beach, or some shopping therapy.  Or you watch a blockbuster movie about the end of the world and it takes you to a new place. A place you don’t have to think, feel brave, or figure out how you belong.  Figure out who you are in a new place.

Have you ever started a new school year or made resolutions for self improvement? I had grand plans for when I moved to Puerto Rico.  I would be doing photography every week, becoming a fantastic cake baker, create wonderful projects for my kids, speaking Spanish fluently in six months.

Yeah, just like many resolutions turn out, so did my plans.  When you move, you take your life with you.  Especially when you have small kids. My life is not all that dissimilar than it was in Wisconsin.  At least inside the house. I still pick up, wash dishes, plan meals, (attempt) to potty train kids, order gobs on Amazon, edit videos for Trevor’s work, and do laundry. Why did I think I’d have tons of time to learn new things and lay in the hammock? The house still needs some organizing, I still make piles that Trevor hates which I intend to clean up.

Just because you make a major move doesn’t mean you change. Well, you do. You grow. But you bring your habits, your self critique, your chores with you.

I’ll keep carving. And I’ll escape once in a while too. But most of all, I’ll be kind and patient with myself.