The advice I ignored, and how I’m paying for it

Everything I read about making a major move with kiddos says that I should set up their rooms first. So they have a little place of their own, so the change seems like, well, less of a change.
I haven’t done that.

Mr. D's room

Mr. D’s room

Lady P's room

Lady P’s room

I sold their dressers. I sold their bookshelves. I’m waiting another week for their rugs and decorations to arrive.  So, sorry kids.  You get your blow up beds and your clothes on the floor.  In a stark, acoustically loud, sterile room.  My son even gets the benefit of my husband’s office furniture which will eventually go in another bedroom.

So, do they like this? I don’t think so.  Leading up to this move their sleeping has required more attention (more about this in a later post). And here too, each child wants us to stay with them until they fall asleep (at the beginning and maybe in the middle of the night). D has wanted to cosleep more, and I end up crawling in P’s inflatable bed. (It’s tight)

What have I organized? Well, we are still waiting for 48 boxes to arrive next week.  But…

Their toys have temporarily taken over the living room until we get organized

Their toys have temporarily taken over the living room until we get organized

Glad he's ok with being on the front porch after the scary dog incident yesterday

Glad he’s ok with being on the front porch after the scary dog incident yesterday

Water table is a gift from Abuela

Water table is a gift from Abuela

Abuelo has been working on the train table

Abuelo has been working on the train table

The toys have taken priority.  Sure, bedrooms are important for the sleep aspect of things. But toys are were it’s at the rest of the day.  Toys are what they are playing with now while I type. Toys help them adjust much more quickly, while Trevor and I scramble around to find a new car, get bank accounts, and buy insurance.  The big picture important stuff.  My kids don’t spend much time in their rooms anyway.

Let’s get priorities straight!

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Parallelogram: Finding a House

\One ex-pat experience explored from two points-of-view\

\\

Lisa \Montreal\

What type of home did you hope for?
My top priority was to find a house with a short commute for Kris, my husband, but otherwise I wanted three bedrooms, a space for play, modern style, and under 1600 sq ft.

What type of home did you secure? 

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A first/second floor, 1500 sq ft, three bedroom flat in Le Plateau neighborhood.

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Did you rent or buy?  Why?
Rent.  There are no restrictions or fees for a US citizens to purchase a home in Canada (NAFTA?  I have a feeling I’m going to toss that out a lot.) but we opted to rent mainly because Kris can turn a higher profit on our investment capital in the stock market than in real estate.  If this reads as me being uninvolved in that decision, there’s a good reason.

How did you find your home?

Real estate, real estate, real estate … broker.  Jess at Abbey and Olivier found our apartment.  As part of our relocation package we made two trips to Montreal to both get acquainted with the city and house-hunt.  We saw our apartment on the first trip.  It was the third one viewed and that’s all we needed.  We returned anyway and saw a couple more places but signed this lease as soon as the papers were drawn.  We were lucky – three bedrooms were very rare at our price point and technically it is a sunroom in which Farrah Star sleeps, but it works well for us.

What about your home is going to be a challenge?

  • The lack of a mudroom.  Four people + Montreal = one megaton of winter outerwear.
  • Keeping my toddler off the spiral staircase.
  • Not being able to paint or wallpaper.  Worrying about every nail I drive into the wall.
  • Two-and-a-half bathrooms to clean.  That’s at least a-half too many given the 1500 sq ft size.
  • Security.  Ground floor apartment with vulnerable alley access.

What do you like most about your home?

  • It’s so fucking pretty.
  • The space as a whole works perfectly with our lifestyle and belongings.  Kids bedrooms upstairs (safe), master downstairs and tucked away (quiet).
  • One word: playroom.
  • Another word: garage.
  • Two more!  ROOF TERRACE

Laura \Mayaguez\

What type of home did you hope for?

1) A kitchen close to the back yard where I could see the kids outside while I cooked.  2) A pool that was safe (it’s so freakin hot). 3) Not a cage (see samples)IMG_9218

What type of home did you secure? 

AN ORANGE ONE!  bwa-haha.  No really, I sent my hubby and my spanish-speaking Dad here last June to scope out places. They found one in a gated community with a community pool, workout room, and playground. The name of the community translates to “Paradise”! We’re on a dead-end street so there is not a lot of traffic, and there’s a huge back patio where the kiddos can play out of the glaring sun.

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I think this side of the island is generally pretty safe.  But nonetheless, I’ve been told our guard at the entrance is armed.  okay…..

half of the L shaped walled in yard

half of the L shaped walled in yard

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take during the initial tour,

take during the initial tour,

Did you rent or buy?  Why?

Rent. It was easier to go that route with such a short amount of time to look. And, in 11 years of marriage we’ve never owned a house so I’m used to renting. It’s a bonus that the landlord recommended the people he uses to clean the house and take care of the lawn.  score.

How did you find your home?

Realtor.  We emailed/called at least 5 realtors because that’s how you do it in PR. They don’t seem to all have the same listings to show you.  So it’s all about word of mouth.  This house wasn’t even for rent, it was for sale.  The landlord is a relative of the realtor!

What about your home is going to be a challenge?

Tile floors.  EVERYWHERE. Even the driveway. Like, the kind that breaks glass with one little drop. (or your iphone!) or cracks a kid’s head open.  jeez.  I’m not paranoid.

Also, the light switches are a little higher than my shoulder.  How’s a preschooler supposed to reach that?

No dishwasher. No garbage disposal.  I’m a wimp, yes.

What do you like most about your home?

It feels like a sanctuary. The patio is essentially where we are going to live. I can envision really loving it here. I hope the neighbors are friendly.

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A day of “Oh Dear God”s…

Yesterday was a day when I repeatedly started thoughts in my head with “oh dear God”.

First: Oh dear God help us shlep our 2 kids, 2 strollers, 2 car seats, 4 carry-ons, 4 personal items, and 8 pieces of luggage the 300 feet from the curb to the check in desk without incident. And dear God please help me get a good photo of said shelp…

My Mom helped us

My Mom helped us

Second: Oh dear God pleeeeeeeese [insert beggy toddler whine here] have our luggage weigh under 50 pounds.

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48 pounds baby! yeah!

Third: Oh dear God please help us get through security without them finding the random liquids I’ve inevitably forgotten. Or having any of us cry. (I’m including the adults here, or the people behind us too)   [I actually like the TSA. The let us through the express lane since we have strollers.  Kids don’t need to take off shoes and they sure do let you in with a lot of extra liquids. I had squeezey packs of babyfood, extra milks and ointment all over my diaper bad.  They never care. They just wiped my hands for explosives. While I was holding my 2 year old. haha]

Fourth: oh dear God please have this plane get off the runway because every single bag of ours is filled stuffed full.

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Fifth: Dear God please have my kids get through this flight easily.  Have there be copious snacks and easy naps.

the easiest nap she ever took

the easiest nap she ever took

we tipped this dude $20.  He's got 10 bags on there

we tipped this dude $20

 

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Manana a Mayaguez

Tomorrow we move to a country I’ve only been to for three days before.

We move to a city I’ve only spent about 4 hours in.

To a house I’ve only seen photos of.

To a language I’ve studied for years and years but never mastered.

I have questions that seem kinda elementary, that I really should know before moving.

Like, since they are part of the USA and use the USPS, do they celebrate/have off the national holidays? What’s the national anthem? Do they have public alert sirens (my son wants to know that)?

I’m so excited to jump right in! It’ll be surreal when I actually get there.

the children's library in Mayaguez

the children’s library in Mayaguez

Mayaguez town square

Mayaguez town square

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Mama wants to know: “Are we there yet?”

T minus 6 days.
It’s only been a little over two months since we made a definite ‘yes’ about moving. Most of the big things have been sold, and now all that remains are details.

  • Clean our house
  • Shipping our boxes
  • Returning all library books
  • Cancelling all utilities
  • Making online orders to ship to the new place
  • Appointments: doc, dentist, haircut
  • Get my shoes repaired
My go-to shoe repair guy at Cecil's Shoe Repair, and his cat Mr. Felix

My go-to shoe repair guy at Cecil’s Shoe Repair, and his cat Mr. Felix

  • Learning important Spanish phrases from our babysitter for Ms. P when she’s older: No mueves la cola. No mueves nada. (Don’t shake your butt. Don’t move anything!) Dejala (leave her alone-boys!)
The best babysitter

The best babysitter

I know there’s lots of little things to do, but for cryin out loud, Are We There Yet? Let’s get this show on the calle.

I think the kids feel the same way. Mr. D has been acting out a bit more. Ms. P has been uber clingy.

I’ve left my wallet at home 2x this week (something I never do).

The land lady blamed us for our house not renting because it’s too messy when people come to view it (I disagree).

I nearly fell over in the post office parking lot because I was trying to carry 6 boxes full of books.

We’re running outta toilet paper and I refuse to buy more.

Let’s go let’s go Vamos! Start our new life already!

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How I organized for an international move

I should be a moving expert by now. I’ve moved 11 times in 17 years. Once was to London, but that international move was just me, an exchange student with three pieces of luggage.

Moving a family with two kids internationally is a whole new ballgame for me though. EVERYTHING you own needs to have a decision made about it: toss/recycle/donate, sell, store or move.

Here’s a few things I’ve found helpful before a major move:

1) Sell, sell, sell. Be in the mindset that unless the items are irreplaceable or extremely sentimental, sell it. Believe that if you need something similar the universe will bring another one to you. Then sell like crazy. I recommend Craigslist.com.  But also try your friends, neighbors and facebook peeps. Rummage sales are also awesome to do.

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Our ‘freebie’ pile for anyone who stops by

2) Make a master to-do list and post it somewhere prominent. Try not to cry or faint upon seeing how long it is (haha. no not really haha. Don’t faint).

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OMG! Where do I start?

3) Hire a babysitter or send your kids to childcare. When the sitter is here, I make a condensed to-do list just for that day. Otherwise I stand there with my head nearly exploding going “She’s only here for 5 hours! OMG! Where do I start?”

4) If you have time, digitize all or at least some of your CDs and photos.  I was able to get some money by selling my CDs to the used book store and now the music is all neatly on my laptop!

scanned pic of my in 1994.  oh yeah. I'm cool

scanned pic of me in 1994. oh yeah. I’m cool

5) As for kids toys, we took two approaches for selling the ones we didn’t want. Some of the little ones we just slowly made disappear and the kiddos didn’t even notice. Some of the special ones they saw us sell or donate, and we talked with them about getting new ones in Puerto Rico. Keep the kids toys that you are keeping out as long as possible.  Then ‘spin’ the concept of packing them up by telling the kids a delivery truck will bring them! This worked for my 3 year old boy.  I’ll even put his name on the package for a little extra fun.

6) Staging areas! In the basement I have three areas: one for things to go in the luggage (we’re taking 12 suitcases plus carryons), a pile of boxes to be shipped and a pile of boxes to be temporarily stored.

**12 suitcases??  yes. My Dad and Step-Mom will be flying there with us and taking 4 of our bags. GODSEND
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Boxes to ship and suitcases to take with us. Real organized, ya know?

7) Speaking of boxes to be shipped, we’ll probably have at least 25 of ’em so I’m giving each a number.  I’ve started a fancy shmancy spreadsheet with the latest technology to keep track of what’s in each box, who I shipped it with, when, and the ETA.

I found about 8 blank spiral notebooks in the basement...

I found about 8 blank spiral notebooks in the basement…

8) You should implement a healthy diet and gets lots of solid sleep to stay healthy and sane before such a big move.  That’s what you should do.  We plan to do this once we move to Puerto Rico!  Meanwhile, what keeps me going is:

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9)  And clean out that liquor cabinet of yours while you’re organizing.  That booze ain’t gonna drink itself.

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Go with the flow

I decided to pamper myself just a little bit even though I had absolutely no justifiable time for it. We move in two weeks after all.

I hit our gym where there is one of those circular pools with a current. There was only one guy in it. I got in the pool and went with the current. Technically you’re supposed to go against it to give yourself a little workout. But I ignored the one other guy’s looks and did my own thing.

https://i0.wp.com/www.castlepinesconnection.com/pages/news/2012/qtr1/cpc3/animalRehab2_2col.jpg?resize=393%2C262

(this was not the guy in it. But this is what the pool looked like)

Making an international move feels like going against the current. It’s a lot of work and not a lot of people choose to put such effort forth into such an unknown adventure. So it felt like a psychological treat to let myself go with the flow, to be taken with the current wherever the water moved me instead of me trying to move against life’s metaphorical water.

But the longer I was in there going with the current, the more I realized going with the flow also requires work. It’s just not as hard. I still needed to keep myself afloat since I didn’t have an inner-tube. I still needed to move around the guy who was giving me looks. And I got just as distracted instead of focusing on inner thoughts as I would have going the other way.

So why not go against the flow? I’ll grow, become stronger, feel accomplished and learn new things.

And pampering oneself is ALWAYS good.

Next post will be about logistics of moving…yikes!

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A temporary hope

Ok, that Hallelujah song always feels extra emotional to me. But this morning as I ripped it off my Cd onto my iTunes I cranked it up, grabbed my son and slow danced hugging him in the kitchen.

He held on tight as if to say “mama I love this. I need more of it.”

I’m sorry sweetie. Two more weeks of chaos. Two more weeks of spending our weekends organizing the basement, selling your favorite toys that are too big to take, and me plugged into my phone to post or reply to a Craigslist ad.

I fear that I won’t be able to turn off my brain and tune in to my kids when we finally move. But I know I will. I’ll have to. I want to. My brain will be so alive in a new place.  We just have to avoid imploding before we get there.

I’m so sorry kiddos for being so preoccupied.

And thank you my son for letting me cry a tear on your shoulder this morning as we danced on the kitchen. This is a huge change for me too. Thanks for being a trouper.

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Let’s Start At the Very…

Where to start, where to start?

You see, in 20 days I’m moving my [very Wisconsin based] family to Puerto Rico.  Yep Puerto Rico.  We’ve been on a roller coaster of purging, selling, donating, digitizing, and prepping our toddlers to move to the Caribbean.

How come when you set out to organize your house it seems to turn into a disaster zone?

I look at this counter and think: Where do I begin?

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Where do I begin on this desk?

 

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And so, where do I begin on this blog? Well, right where I am.  Crazy, tense, excited, selling my kids belongings out from under them, trying to brush off my Spanish, and hanging on for the adventure.

This blog will chronicle my family’s adventure’s and observations on this huge transition. Also, my good friend Lisa will be contributing as well.  She’s moving from Madison north to Montreal right about now too.

Get it? Polar = Montreal  Rico = well, yeah I bet ya figured that out

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