Adventures in Salsaland

Posted on September 18, 2014 by Laura

As a way of continuing to find a new balance with social life, family, community and fitness, I decided to Google salsa dance in Mayaguez. I didn’t come up with any definite answers but a guy we met on the beach a few weeks ago told me about salsa dancing in the nearby town of San German. I finally got there tonight. As Trevor was rocking our daughter to sleep I quickly got ready and headed out the door.I had no idea what the bar was like.  I wanted wear pockets so I could keep my key and $$ on me at all times. And as I drove the 25 minutes there I remembered that girls should not leave their drink unattended. You know, rape drugs and stuff like that. Noted.

This is my actually when I got home and took off my lipstick already haha

This is me actually when I got home and took off my lipstick already haha

My trusty GPS took me right to where their Facebook address said. I passed some (wild or not so wild I really can’t tell) horses in the road and one stray dog on my route there. I arrived at the address at about 9:30. The dancing was supposed to start at nine but I figured getting late was okay because, well it’s Puerto Rico. There was no bar there. There was no business there. There’s a police station and some very dark apartmenst.

What did we do before iPhones? I quickly got online and found another website that had the correct address. I plugged it in. I was only five minutes away! Awesome.
I drove straight over there and was excited to hear salsa music coming from the bar. But when I slowly cruised by casing the joint I saw about three guys and they were standing at the bar. No dancing. Okay well maybe I was there too early it was only about 9:30 after all. I filled up my gas tank at the gas station next door and cruised down by the bar again. One more guy was sitting outside smoking. humph.

The Bullpen Sport Bar view from the gas station

The Bullpen Sport Bar view from the gas station

I’ve been swing dancing for nearly 15 years. In Madison I was a big fish in a very little pond. I would walk into the dance confident, a little bit cocky, and like I owned the joint. I was surrounded by friends, I knew what to expect and honestly it’s where I flourished the most. Dancing comes pretty naturally to me. It’s one of the few things that does. So I was expecting to go out salsa dancing, walk into a busy room of salsa dancers, grab the best dancer there and show my stuff. Heck I can think I can fake tango reasonably well. I could fake salsa. Although it had been about 13 years since I went out salsa dancing ha ha

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Blurry pic of Trevor and I during our “goodbye” swing dance in Madison last August

I know what it’s like to be a newbie on the scene because, sadly enough, sometimes I didn’t treat newbies so well on our swing scene in Madison. When I went out dancing I wanted to hang out with my friends. If I was only there for a limited amount of time I wanted to make sure that my dances counted. And were fun. Sometimes dancing with a newbie can be very rewarding if they’re an out-of-town dancer who already knows how to dance. When I taught a lot of dance lessons, I would dance with more beginners because how else are they supposed to get better? Quite frankly though I will admit, sometimes I was a Lindy snob. Going into a new salsa scene I fully expected to be snubbed. So I was ready to get my cocky game on and prove my worth. So when I saw an empty bar I kind of felt deflated. That means I would just have to go in with a bunch of guys trying to speak Spanish and buy a drink which I really didn’t want to drink alcohol. I drove myself there and I’m such a lightweight these days I don’t want to overdo it. My forte is in dancing not drinking or speaking Spanish…

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my view for a half hour

So I did what any adventurous girl would do. I stayed in my car and drove around until I saw more people arrive. Ha ha. During my driving I saw another stray dog. I sat at the gas station for a while. At around 10:22 I saw people actually dancing! I parked in the little lot, texted Trevor, and headed in.

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waiting.

But when I got inside nobody was dancing. doh! I ordered the Sangriiia (Sangria in a juice box. yeah!) even though I really didn’t want to drink alcohol. I just sipped it one or two sips. Looking kind of out of place (though everyone seemed friendly enough) the one late 20-something guy on the dance floor motioned to me to come on over. I immediately left my drink unattended and ran towards him.

Turns out that he’s there every Tuesday to give free salsa dancing lessons. Just my luck! Instead of trying to show off with my half assed salsaing I got a one hour and 10 minute free salsa dance private lesson. In English. His name was Alvin. And he was a pretty good teacher. I think he was impressed with my skills though little bit of my swing dancing corrupted my salsa dancing. We had fun and he was in full teacher mode. But I think he was having fun too. I got the lowdown on some more dancing sites in my town and Rincon. He said he is at the Bullpen Bar every Tuesday night. I told him I’d be back in a couple weeks.

I headed home, saw the third stray dog of the night, and ran over a chicken (no not a live one. One that had already been rotisseried. Why was that in the road?)

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Parallelogram: Where Art Thou, Community?

Posted on September 18, 2014 by Lisa Bagchi

\One ex-pat experience explored from two points-of-view\

\\

Lisa\Montreal

Laura\Mayaguez wrote about church yesterday and I too had the thought this weekend about finding a community.  This week’s Parallelogram is therefore united in spirit but divided in timing.  Click here for Laura’s Community post and gaze downward for mine.

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I just finished binge-watching Community and now I don’t know who I am or what I’m supposed to be doing.  Netflix = immersion therapy.

Abed

When I first moved from New York to San Francisco in 1999, a friend and her husband came to visit.  They had just moved from Michigan to Ohio.  When I knew Meg in college she was wild (think: trip to the ER) but when she met her husband, a very religious man, she adopted his lifestyle and for all I know they are still happily married and still living their faith.  When I saw her in San Francisco she was already happy and she said this had everything to do with her husband and their church community. When they moved, she recounted, their church from Michigan contacted their new church in Ohio and set up a welcome committee literally in her driveway.  Complete strangers helped unpack their furniture and fed them meals the day they arrived.  But they weren’t strangers were they?  Having just moved myself and feeling very lonely, Meg’s story stuck with me.  Fifteen years and many moves later, I still think of it and the benefit of belonging.

Years later, when Kris and I left New York (second time for me) for Greenwich’s greener pastures, I researched deeply into joining the Quakers, or Society of Friends.  I fully admit to being wooed by Six Feet Under’s Nate/Maggie storyline but regardless, away from the (anonymous) energy of the city, I longed to join a community.  Before I knew it we were in Bermuda, Arlo came and with him I was born into the Ex-Pat Stay-At-Home-Mothers Community and it was good.  I still miss it.

There is a church directly outside our apartment.  Her stained glass windows play backdrop to my daughter’s tormented slumber.  I don’t even know what kind of church it is but I do know Sunday morning services are held in Spanish.  Early.

Durga Puja is soon so that sent me googling for a local Bengali Association.  Is that where we belong?

There is a loneliness that comes with being a stay-at-home-parent who moves around so much.

Abed 2

And they call you a robot.

I am looking forward to finding and contributing to a community here in Montreal.  I’ve been told to get in and make friends by Halloween because after that people stay indoors.  More than one person has told me this so the clock is ticking.  SAHMs?  Bloggers?  Photographers?  American Ex-Pats?  I know there’s something for me/us and I will find you.  ACCEPT ME!

Ahbed 3

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finding an iglesia in Puerto Rico

Posted on September 15, 2014 by Laura

When my Dad and Step-mom were here we took the kids to mass at the Catholic church in the Mayaguez town square. Pretty church. Your typical mass – the Catholic mass is standard no matter what language. Since it is familiar, and we were camped out in the very back, it was so easy for my mind to wander. I didn’t get anything from the experience.

IMG_9603Side note – I had to change P’s diaper and D had to go potty during the service. Where were the bathrooms? You had to pass the choir UP ON THE ALTER to get behind to use the bathroom back where the priests get ready for service. Yeah. I did that 2x. Boy did I feel the eyes on me. haha

I haven’t regularly attended mass since I was in college. Since getting married I have become a member of the Unity Church. The one in Madison rocks. I was sad to leave it – even if I only got there 1 or 2 times a month. I was happy to see a Unity church about 35 min away from my new home.

I called the minister yesterday morning because I got conflicting info about the church on various websites, and I wanted to confirm the service time. 11am. ok. I headed out without the kids.

Aguada is a cute town I haven’t explored much. The cemetery across from the church is very cool looking. It’s the type that the graves are above the ground. (typical here).  IMG_0239Anyway, the church space looked like a converted store or office room.

IMG_0237It’s certainly a good experience to be an outsider in the group.  You have to just observe. Abandon expectation and roll with it.  You kinda figure out “oh, ok, this is what we’re doing now” a beat after everyone else is doing it. They had snacks and drinks available. I tried eating a guava fruit which I didn’t like. And learned that orange juice is called “Jugo de china” here.  ok. What a hugging bunch! (I think it’s a Unity thing).

The front of the church

The front of the church

I haven’t used this much Spanish since I arrived.  Several of them spoke English but I got the impression most did not. The service finally began at 11:22.

I had to stare at the person speaking otherwise my brain would say, “I don’t understand and now I’m going to stop trying.” game over. So, no head bowing in prayer for me. Staring! hah

At least 7 people helped participate in the service (with only 20 of us there, that’s a high percentage!)  Two people did a little skit.  The lady whacked the guy with a bag of bread rolls -haha

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These two did a little skit

I sat off to the side, because the back seats were already taken.  I wanted to blend in, but why? That was silly.  There were only 20 people there. I was a total fish out of water.

I missed my old church, but looked around at this older group of people, and thought, “These are my new peeps.” They loved having me here. Several of them asked if Trevor was Puerto Rican.  I had to laugh. I think I’ll go back a few times a month if possible.  It’s good to have that sort of connection in a new place.

On the way home I tried a shortcut. Wrong choice!  Flash flood. I was not about to drive through a huge puddle. Went back on the main road.  oops.

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Brrr…ahhh…

Posted on September 12, 2014 by Laura

A quick post from Lisa and I..the most obvious difference about our two new hometowns begins…  four photos for your viewing pleasure.  Mid   Septem

ber fun looks like this:

This is just the beginning

This is just the beginning

bust out the winter wardrobe

  bust out the winter wardrobe

sweating before we hit the pool

sweating before we hit the pool

one day without rain

one day without rain

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A thanks to my daughter for letting me ‘use her’

Posted on September 11, 2014 by Laura

I need to thank my blonde haired blue-eyed fearless two-year-old daughter.

Every time we go out shopping no matter where we are, she gets reactions from those around us. Particularly the women.

“Que lindo!” I hear over and over again. It means “how cute.”

a Walmert employee put this on her head. No, we didn't buy it

a Walmert employee put this on her head. No, we didn’t buy it

This leads to a little more interaction with the locals than I probably would’ve had otherwise. Even if it’s just a couple of words and I shyly look away because I don’t know what to say in Spanish, her cuteness helps break the ice.

They love it when she says "hola!"

They love it when she says “hola!”

Yesterday the kids were playing out in the front “yard”.  The neighbor next-door in the tan house (who we haven’t met yet) came outside to take out his trash. I was little distracted by taking pictures and doing other things on my phone and I didn’t get the gumption to say hello to him until he was all done and back inside.  Beating myself up about a lost opportunity, I was excited when the mother of the house came home and said hello out her window but then also disappeared inside of her house. I was a little dejected.

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My daughter insisted that we go knock on their door and say hello. She did this by grabbing my hand and dragging me down the sidewalk ha ha. I said no because I could hear they were starting supper and talking inside and we talked nicely way in their house. Plus I don’t know if they spoke English or not.
But she insisted and I thought well, I don’t want to be bold and I want to make friends so this is how we do it.  With kids in tow we walked over the 25 feet to the tan house next-door.

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They were so welcoming they were so nice and yes they all spoke English. Even the seven-year-old. Though I did get to practice a little of my Spanish. The mother is an ER doctor. How convenient is that to have one of those next-door?  She was very nice and even gave us an apple juice to drink. And said if we needed any help at all don’t hesitate to come on over.  Thankfully while we were there their slightly hyper dog was outside in the backyard which helped. 

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Parallelogram: Shopping

Posted on September 9, 2014 by Lisa Bagchi

\One ex-pat experience explored from two points-of-view\

\\

Lisa\Montreal\

You are the primary go-getter for your family and home.  How and where did you shop in Madison?

Three words:  Amazon, Whole Foods, Target and in that order.  Whole Foods I would go to twice a week with Farrah Star after dropping Arlo off at preschool.  There is no better shopping than 9am-Weekday-Whole-Foods-Shopping.  Amazon took care of the rest except same-day needs which I’d get at Target.

How and where do you shop in Montreal?

Poorly and everywhere.

Losing Amazon changes everything.  Well, Amazon does exist here but with a fraction of the selection and hefty shipping delays.

Shopping

Also, UPS is not allowed to leave anything at your door so if you’re not home the box goes to a holding place.  Gratefully ours is down the street but still – different.Shopping

That’s a purse, snacks, water, scooter, helmet, scarf, ball and a giant box of diapers on that stroller.  This left only my shoulders for Farrah when she got tired of walking and no hands for Arlo to hold which, you know, sad face.

It should be noted that I do not drive.  Well, I have driven the car exactly three times in three weeks: 1) to go to a grocery store but Farrah fell asleep so I turned around 2) to go to a Target but Farrah fell asleep so I turned around and 3) to go to a medical clinic.  Montreal is a big city filled with construction and emptied of parking.  The only grocery shopping I’ve done is daily trips to small marchés.  The only household shopping I’ve done is at mom-and-pop hardware stores.  Having lived in NYC and San Francisco I thought I would fully embrace this aspect of city living but it feels relentless in its pace and child-unfriendly in its space.  (I didn’t have kids in NYC and San Francisco.)  People are mostly patient with my kids but the tiny hallways and bursting shelves are too enticing.  There will come a day when I’ll be able to circumvent four curious hands while trying remember the French word for asparagus but that day feels a long way off.

When this past rainy Saturday morning presented, we took a family trip across the river to a Target.  Kris drove.  I needed time, I needed help and I needed stuff I couldn’t find down the block.  I expected a panacea but instead got a panic attack.

Shopping

Kris mentioned that Target Canada is a failing expansion for the company so I looked it up to learn more (on Gawker, natch):

“Beleaguered retail empire Target announced weak-ass first quarter earnings today, thanks in large part to its disastrous Target Canada division, which lost $211 million just this quarter.”

And from an employee, same article:

“Stores have scores of empty shelves, endcaps, sections that could easily be filled with inventory on-hand, however Target DOES NOT WANT US TO FILL THEM. The POG (planogram) must be executed 100% flawlessly – even if it means the shelves are empty because what is supposed to be there isn’t on hand right now. In other words, we had way too much of things that we didn’t need, and not enough of things we did need.”

Target Canada hates money.

I will get what I need, I always do, I just have to find out how and where.  I enjoy being a regular and frequenting local, specialized shops; the people here have been helpful and friendly at every turn.  I’ll figure it out, just hopefully before Farrah needs more diapers.

Laura\Mayaguez\

You are the primary go-getter for your family and home.  How and where did you shop in Madison?

Target, Woodmans and Whole Foods.  We were at Target at least once a week.  Ms. P has asked to go there at least 3 times since we moved. Sorry chica, no Target on the island.

How and where do you shop in Mayaguez?

This is a car culture, and megastore haven. At least that is my first impression. So far we have shopped at Walmart, Sams Club, Home Depot, local food stores and one natural food store.  I’ve never shopped at Walmart before. It’s…..interesting.  And ALWAYS packed. Thankfully we are within a 10-15 min drive for all. I wouldn’t walk to any stores. A) takes too long.  B) it’s way to freakin’ hot.  C) Although there are sidewalks, I would consider it taking my life in my hands to try to walk to a store. (traffic)

These people sit in towers around the Walmart parking lot, watching for....?

These people sit in towers around the Walmart parking lot, watching for….?

Amazon was sued by, I guess all of Puerto Rico because it had considered it “international” and not eligible for Amazon Prime.  They won, so I am now an Amazon Prime member, but they don’t ship to PR a lot of the foods that I want to buy. USPS leaves our boxes at the post office (15 min drive away) but UPS drops them off at the door (always between 7:30 and 9:30 pm!!)

I haven't figured out if this is because my street is not recognized by the post office...

I haven’t figured out if this is because my street is not recognized by the post office…

I need to explore the other two (three?) natural food stores in town.

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So far my shopping has been unorganized and scattered.  I hope to get into a pattern soon. And explore more of the “mama y papa” shops.  I just have to get over the fact that some of them look different than the typical Wisconsin storefront but are probably very nice inside:

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a coffee shop I could try

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Intersection dwellers

Posted on September 7, 2014 by Laura

• Street Scenes •

The first week we were here Trevor and I test drove about three different cars. I didn’t admit to the first dealer guy that that was the first time I’d ever driven in Puerto Rico ha ha

Which leads me to the streets of Mayaguez:

At nearly every major intersection at the stoplight, there are people selling things. This is anything from bananas to bottled water to beggars. Today I saw high school age girls gleefully standing in the middle of traffic selling candy bars.

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They’re not annoying or in your face. And they might smile at you if you smile at them. I have yet to actually buy something but maybe I will someday.

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The sellers park nearby

The most unique one I saw though was a fireman collecting money in his fireman hat. I wondered if it was just a guy with a fireman hat but I think I saw a few other firefighters nearby too. Interesting way to fund raise.

IMG_9419For some reason, there never seems to be competing groups at the intersection. Maybe they have to ‘sign up’ or there’s some sort of genteel code of conduct – whoever gets there first gets to use the corner.  hmm…

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A suspicious and untimely friend

Posted on September 5, 2014 by Laura

Yesterday while my two kids napped I needed to head over to the security guard at the front gate. As I walk to the five short blocks there I was surprised to find someone following me. Surprised and scared.

It was a huge black and white dog with two different colored eyes.  It was trotting up behind me rather quickly. Immediately I got a little worried. Just a few days earlier the neighbors dog had come out of the house out-of-control, looking it seemed, to attack someone. I’m not a dog person, so I really don’t know how to read these animals. I didn’t know what to make of this dog following me but I didn’t like it.

I kept walking and it kept following me. So I turned around and tried to be the alpha= put my hand out and said “no!” He kept following me and even though he was just trotting playfully, I still didn’t like it. I tried telling him to go away in Spanish.

I got to the front security guard and did the business I needed to do there. He looked at the dog right next to me and I told him in Spanish this dog isn’t mine. He got up and made a little whistle and kind of pointed to the gate to try to tell the dog to leave. But the dog trotted a little in the opposite direction and the guard kind of gave up. Okay. Thanks.

I walked home and try to lose the dog but he kept on following me. I still felt rather uncomfortable because I didn’t know what he was planning on doing. Was he going to bite me? I had no idea if he had a disease. I scampered down the last bit of my block and into my house, shutting the door quickly behind me. I thought that I had lost him finally.

Yeah right.

He sat on our stoop the rest of the whole damn day. I nicknamed him Owen. After Buck Owens. Because that was the first name that popped in my head.

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He was parked here until nightfall

Now, my kids absolutely hate dogs. They really don’t like them at all. So I didn’t want this thing hanging outside of our house.  I opened the door a few times to tell it to leave but he just kinda looked at me. My kids began to get worried that he would come into the house, and when we got into the car for an errand we didn’t open the garage door until we were all in the car.

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He was probably a nice dog and probably just very thirsty because it was over ninety degrees out. This however was not a strong enough emotion I guess, to actually prompt me to do something to help him. I was kind of stuck in a hard spot. My kids are terrified of dogs, I had no idea what the history of this dog was, there’s really no authority to come and get stray dogs in Puerto Rico I don’t think, but I knew he probably was just looking for some food and water. In any case, of course I snapped a few photos. By the next morning he was gone. Maybe if I was more of an animal person I would’ve tried to help him out. But I’m not. I have to think of my kids first. I’m glad he’s gone.

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Parallelogram: Preparing the Kids

Posted on September 2, 2014 by Lisa Bagchi

\One ex-pat experience explored from two points-of-view\

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Laura \Mayaguez\

Ms. P, 2, Mr. D, almost 4

We visited Puerto Rico last March at the end of a long vacation in the Florida Keys.  Moving here was something we were open to at the time, though not really seriously considering. We kept it light and casually said things like, “hey, wouldn’t it be fun to live here? We could go to the beach on the weekends!” During that trip we visited the Montessori school where my son will soon be attending. He seemed to really like the environment during our after hours tour, so his comfort and excitement about that really sealed the deal about which town to move to if we did indeed end up moving.

We didn’t announce to the kiddos that we were moving until Trevor and I were absolutely certain. Trevor flew back to Mayaguez with my Dad to look for houses last June.  Even then it was just, “Dada’s going to Puerto Rico with Abuelo!” D said, “Next time, I want to go too.” And I could honestly say, “ok”.

We had to start selling all our furniture right away.  P needed to get out of her crib.  Thankfully, she saw her brother really dig his blowup travel bed, so she got one too. I just told the kids the items were too big to move, but reassured them we’d bring all their toys.  Which….wasn’t entirely true.  Toys.  They had WAY to many of them.  Broken shells from Florida, kitchy dollar store things from various parties, doubles of some toys.  I used a combination of approaches:

1) some just “disappeared”.  Bad mama! Bad! In know. But honestly, they didn’t notice any but one was gone.

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old train table

2) We discussed others that would not make the move but I promised I would buy/make another in our new home. The biggie: his train table. Abuelo’s going to store this one at his house and make you a NEW one in PR! ooo….you’ll have TWO!

3) we gave some away to friends. Proud Mama because D was willing and ok with it.  Maybe ’cause there might be the possibility of seeing it again when we visit.

Things got rough as moving day neared.  The babysitter was at the house full time.  D wet his pants so much more often than he used to. P became clingier. They were troupers.  I probably could’ve had more patience, but did my best. We just wanted the move to arrive. Thankfully, at no time did they mention not wanting to move.

It has been 8 days since arriving in Puerto Rico.  How are D and P adjusting so far?

Pretty well. Good moments and bad. D still wets his pants and we had to go back to setting the timer every 50 min to make him go, like we did when he was first trained. It’s tough because we’re still waiting for 48 boxes to arrive, so things like his booster seat are still absent.  So meals are a little struggle getting him to sit still. The second day here poor guy threw up a whole bunch. I don’t think it was an illness, just his body adjusting to the heat or something.  Dunno. We held him tight.

P still wants hugs and being carried around, which does get tiring but I know she needs it so I do it as much as I can. She needs to be rocked/cuddled/co-slept to sleep more than ever.  Part of me wants to sleep-train her, but actually, it’s not that bad. She needs to know we’re near.

Since my Dad and step-mom were here the first week, the kids started to call our new house “Abuelo’s house.” No kiddos, it’s ours.  All ours.  I think we’ll be just fine.

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new train table in the works. Outside on the patio!

Lisa \Montreal\
Farrah Star, 18 months and Arlo, 4 1/2

I prepared Farrah Star for our move from Madison, Wisconsin to Montreal by doing nothing.  As an attached baby all she needs is me and I too moved to Montreal.  We sold *sob* her crib *sob* but she was already sleeping in a bed when we travelled so I figured that transition would be smooth.

Luckily Arlo had a classmate who had just moved so the concept was fresh in his mind.  I didn’t over-sell or over-promise and I only brought it up when an opportunity presented itself.  For example, maple syrup on his waffle -> Canada -> Montreal -> Hey!  We’re going to live where maple syrup comes from!

 Since we had playroom space in the new apartment I didn’t have to shed much of his possessions but what was donated we did together.  And yes, we did buy him a housewarming present and have no qualms about it.

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The most important thing I did (and have done) is match his emotions – the best coping tactic I ever learned from my Doula training.  If he was high on the idea, I became excited.  If he acted indifferent on the topic, I kept things matter-of-fact or even dropped it.  Very early on Arlo could verbalize that we were moving but I was never sure if he truly understood the gravity of such a change.  How could he?  To spell it out – “you may never see your friends again” – would be cruel.  Not everything had to be made crystal clear.  That said, I was constantly waiting for the shoe to drop in an ocean of tears.  It never happened.

In order to maintain his routine we enrolled him in school immediately.  That’s what he does.  That’s what he loves.  Still, I pay very close attention to his feelings and comfort towards that new environment and check in with his teachers.  I’m happy to report all is well.

It’s been two weeks since arriving in Canada.  How are Arlo and Farrah Star adjusting so far?

School is the only place where all is well.  Arlo is struggling with heightened reactions to the most minor of perceived or real transgressions.  He also developed a strong attachment to his possessions (even a snack) which was never the case prior to moving.  Our days are filled with the “classic” behavior that comes in response to a major life change.

My friend Pearl captured this moment when we were in Utah (a vacation between the move) and it depicts my and Arlo’s current relationship perfectly.  He is sad, he is hurt and he is acting out and I am responding as best I can by meeting his eyes while firmly holding his body and just listening.  I often don’t know how to reach past this pain or behavior and it is both heartbreaking and exhausting.  Usually this picture would include Farrah attached to my body which, to be honest, is challenging when my son needs all of me.

Utah

We are only two weeks in Montreal I remind myself.  We have each other and that isn’t going anywhere I remind him.  I am his constant.

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Coffee Behind Closed Doors

Posted on September 1, 2014 by Laura

Being somewhat scattered the first few days here, we have made multiple and repeated runs to various grocery stores. The one I think I’ll frequent the most regularly, Pueblo, I took photos of all the aisle signs so I know how to layout my grocery list (I hate backtracking in the store.  Yes, I got lots of stares).

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Now I have to translate them…

Thankfully there are some natural food stores around here. I have yet to go to one but the two other mainstream grocery stores I’ve been to have made me chuckle about a few things

All the imported produce is saran wrapped into bunches. A.k.a. almost all produce is saran wrapped.

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oh hell no. I'm paying this much for corn that probably came from Wisconsin? Yes. Because it's one of the few veggies my kid each. Dammit.

oh hell no. I’m paying this much for 3 ears of corn that probably came from Wisconsin? Yes. Because it’s one of the few veggies my kids eat. Dammit.

Anything that looks like it could’ve been local is a fruit or veggie I did not recognize!

what the heck are these?

what the heck are these?

The ground beef is made into cute little volcanos, probably to show you that it isn’t gross inside.

IMG_9664

A very traditional Puerto Rican dish is a lot of plantains. I didn’t even know  Goya had this many products, especially in the frozen foods. Good thing plantains are tasty and gluten-free!

IMG_9667 IMG_9666

And lastly what made me laugh the most is that the coffee is locked up behind the checkout counters. You know, where the cigarettes are kept in the United States. Ha ha.

behind locked doors

coffee behind locked doors

Sadly I have yet to find the whole bean where you can grind it up right at the store.

I’ll report more later when I hit all the health food stores.

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